Relac Relac

Yippy Ya yippy Yippy Ya!!!
Life never felt so gd for soooooooooooooooooooooooooo Long booohhahahahaha
A life program encompassing basic scheduled eat shit sleep + running, swimming, mahjong, guitar, alcohol can never fail to please EL

Grr gotta wake a lil earlier tml to go settle my passport as i surely noe the consequences of screwing this matter up!!!!
El is gonna be pinched real BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD if he is not able to get his ass on genting becox of that... hahahaha oooopsss
Since its along the way... i shall pop by IKEA Tampines as well to shop shop eat eat and also get the damn shot glasses not just for myself but for hamtaro and bastard as well...

Now i m really at a lost!!!! gonna do lots of stuff tml....
Nearly forgot that i need to go hunt for nice nice paper for my project J this sat
grrr Queen Bday... now holiday better get my ass down to doing some nice DIY stuff on top of the prezzie....
But Oei... if u think u r gonna find out wat is that secret thingy if u peep at this blog then u r totally wrong!!!!

Past creations that i have pics include the following:

Maybe i will just drop by city hall before going to IKEA to get my materials!!
grrr... exam killed too many braincells le
Can't seem to get any ideas at all
But i better go hunt down the prezzie first

Oh ya............
OEI WG!!!!!
when da hell are ya free man??
jj wanna go out lehz... u better dont come tell us u 24/8 bf sia
pple 24/7 monday-sunday
u 24/8 monday-sunday + everyday
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
better spare some time for us sia!!!

oh ya... the drinking binge project is on the way!!! haha
Roped in Rodent and Bastard already...
now arsenal in store includes: vodka, chivas, 42 below, baileys...
all it takes is just some lemons, sugar and shot glasses to get the war started haha
the last time i drank at sentosa was with JC sia...
haha the two of us just beered and vodka all the way thru the nite muahaha
its really gd man
gonna get JC to go at another time haha
Hopes that Operation GetWasted will be a success

fine fine.. grouchy El shall go to bed now!

Alas~

Its been a while now since the exam period began~
El is glad...
He is finally given the green light to running kekekekekekekeke
Gdbye my dear extra weight that has been keeping me company for the past mths
Its so sad.... But I am really not gonna miss u muahahahahaha

Run, Swim, Tan everyday.....
If possible tennis also...
its been a while~ since i had last been on the court!

Went to book the genting tics today~
gonna go Genting with my dear at the end of the mth
Really need a getaway badly~
At least i wont have to even have to plan for any progs that is necessary if we are singapore bound

Met up with YoYo n PR just now...
Muahaha had quite a bit of "engaging" talk
fixed up the drinking binge on this coming thurs~
Shall go and drink myself dead...
But however... this has to be adequately compensated on Friday thru working out haha

Kinda at a loss now too....
Not sure wat to get for myself on X'mas....
On top of that... Uncle Andy is gonna gimme sthg yet i dunno what to get and claim from him
a pair of running shoe seems like the best idea i have so far....

Alrite... Yawning already
shall turn in and wake at 830 tml for my run~

The Day B4 Da Day

The day began with El oversleeping haha
went to school late and its just for 1 tutorial...

There's a couple of things that El just cannot understand...

INCIDENT 1:
Seems like holiday is coming and lotsa xiao didi xiao mei mei are begining to pon sch already
Was on the train to harbourfront, in came this bunch of Xiao Mei Meis~
Grrrrrrrr its pretty apparent that sec sch gals these days are taught to behave just like damaged radios.
They have neither a stop button or a volume control knob that is working...
They can't seem to just shut the fuck up or at least keep their conversations to themselves.
And guess wat... they were talking abt their periods... and there they went giggling and sudden spikes of loud laughter at each other...
Knn for gdness sake... i am not interested in your fucking monthly affair???
Eventually i couldnt take it and i spoke out to them on behalf of the rest of the passengers...
This is how i went abt it, " Gals... can you all shut up or at least keep your volume to yourself?? U people may keep the dates and how u bleed to yourselves~"
and they gave me that smug look... Not in a bit apologetic~
I really felt like saying "Fuck U Bitches!!!!!!!"

INCIDENT 2:
Was on Bus 188 back to harbourfront after school when i encounter these bunch of muds....
In came these 3 muds and 2 minahs
All poised and looking fierce sia~
Muds bouncing lefty rightly like Nelly
Minahs forgot they aint Beyonce
Just in case we assume wrongly that they aint smart enuff to use mp3 phones... the moment they sat behind El... they went Blasting Da Bombs off their phones....
And from then on it went Yo Yo Checking It Left Right Up Down Inside Out and Fucking every god damn mother son off...
All the way till the bus reached the terminal before my ears are relieved of the torture...
I mean i like Hip Hop Reggaeton and RnB
But well... If u all can afford a phone... Fucking get a earpiece....
They dont realise they are just creating public disturbance

I just can't freaking understand this....
Not that i am racist or wat...
But well... get a life u Muds and Minahs...
Why do these Muds and Minahs like to act as though they are like Niggers in the States?
for fuck sake... U all are just freaking muds and minahs....
While we are the stinky Sengapore Cainese
and u all aint facing any deep rooted racism nonsense east coastie west coastie shit....
So El beg of all you Muds and Minahs... Perhaps in a RnB so u all can Understand
And there it goes," All you slim muds and Minahs out there, Please Wake Up, Please Wake up!!!"
Just stick to your mud and minah ways pls
Don't fucking pretend to be like negros in the states...
This fucking negro pretence trend seems to be prevailing these days,
wat exactly are u muds and minahs trying to prove??

Luckily i had a great ending to the day~
Had dinner @ Fish & Co with my Dear
As usual we had the platter for 2~
Its like Da Bomb......
Not to forget, the nice oysters which are perfect starters keke

A dinner treat, a fantastic DIY pressie and a nice dinner treat from my dear just lighted my bad day. And the day ended well with my sweet tooth satisfied by TCC desserts at Cineleisure~

Its really tough to get presents for me...
Thanks dudes out there... u 4 fellas noe who u r...
Give u all a nice treat on Friday so u all dont work for Nuttin~

But i got nuttin to do tml...
Almost everyday i have celebration less Da Day itself hahaha
i just love this week~
If only, there isnt any test on thurs and assignments aint due on fri....

December Crave

Just can't freaking figure out the chords to the song...
Can't find it on the net too
I am done with the chorus... but somehow the bridge part sounds farnie...

Grr hate this week... so many things packed
- gotta finish up my part for the 2184 project
- finish the assignments due for 2 other modules
- study for a quiz on friday

Just not in the mood for productive things... All i wanna do is really slack and play the guitar hahahahahaha

Can't wait for december to come...
Just run, swim, tan, gym and guitar everyday
That's just so heavenly...
Hopefully my ankle ligament would be fine by then...
Haiz... I have been resting it for 2mths already...
Ever since i found out something is wrong with it~
If i have been able to run... perhaps the i wouldnt be so round now hahaha
But then again... i am kinda afraid too... with the ankle so swollen after a slow jog
Think a gd rest till december is inevitable, and that means i have to kiss gdbye to my Std Chartered Marathon in December
Given my ankle ligament condition the big fat doc is bound to give a BIG NO NO
if i wanna engage in rigorous pre run training schedules...

Well well... everyone says El is round keke
but El couldnt care less... Not that he cant be bothered
but he can't do anything also...

Grr i wanna recover from all those shit that i am having since Oct last year
First is left knee liga strain.... den i m screwed with ankle liga strain
Followed by my wrist and now the ankle liga is coming back....
can't even do running without coming back with swollen ankle that hurts for the next day
Haiz... Liddat how to not put on weight???

December faster come... And may all those liga probs just f off
And i may go back to my Run Like Nobody Business life again

Fortunate and Blessed

El just realised how fortunate and blessed he is~ lol
Was on the phone with Jolene just now...
Jolene was asking what do i need???
Reason being my bdae is next week and she hasnt really got a clue as to wat to get for me.
However... this qn really set El thinking hahaha
Such a simple question yet El never did realise that

I really dont badly need anything at the moment... Be it things that i need or want

Wallet (Anniversay Gift)
Phone
Ipod (its a must have for my daily 2hr 45mins commutation)
Digicam
Laptop
My favorite topman cardigan (Courtesy of Jolene again)
My 8 pairs of footwear

I really have i ever needed and wanted...

I do wish 2 people can be with me this birthday but i guess this is a wish never to be fulfilled.
never in this life i guess... In my dreams maybe??? How i miss those homecook meals... The whole table full of El's favorite dishes, not as lavish as restaurant stuff... but it sure does warm my heart more than anything else could...

To think about it... how many years has it been since i last had that priviledge and fortune? 5 years?? I still do miss Her...

8th of Nov is not El's bday alone... Its my younger brother's birthday too. Other than us, His birthday is also on that day... although he only celebrated his birthday date that follows the Chinese Calendar... This year He is not around anymore... As i write this, this scene just keep flashing in my head...

Last year when i came back from my Birthday cele with my buddies... It was late~ He was still awake... stayed up till wee hours just to wait for me to return home so he may give me the red packet... The scene is fresh and my heart still aches...

For all that money can ever give to me... I have them all. Fortunate and Blessed~
But deep down in my heart... I do noe that things i really need and hope for are gone forever and never gonna come back to me...

Life.........................................................................

Time of E Year

Its time of the year again!!!!
Muahahahahahaha
The evil horrible El is gonna do a terrible shopping spree that is gonna send his wallet into hemorrhage kekekekekeke.

Haiz... Cant get my $250 Fossil watch since i buang my Hydraulics target
Grrr that pathetic 2 marks!!!! damn it 80marks and i will be happily bleeding my wallet

Maybe i shd settle for a cheaper alternative instead...
Still pondering wat to hint to my dear and the 4 Duuddddddddddddeeeeees
U all noe who u are
Choice one: Hint the Adidas bag to Jolene, den F4 gotta go find something else
Choice two: Hint something else to Jolene, allow bags as a choice for F4

I can't imagine getting a Crumpler + Adidas bag for bday...
Grr my room will be overloaded with bags
I already have two mambo bags at home... + those two i will end up with 4 bags
Its not economical kekeke

I shall allow only one more bag... so let me go find out wat Jolene is getting for me first

However... even if its a crumpler i also dunno which model to get
Complete Seed?? Fux Deluxe?? or Western Lawn???
Nahz... i rule out Western Lawn... way too plain and every mother son is carrying

Dead Beat today... sacrificed my sleep last night for 2407 algorithms but well
this means i am free to blog and den kahhh Pommm and sleep tonite
Still gotta wake a bit earlier to finish up the 2408 report proper and den go print it out in sch before submitting tml
Luckily i am done for 2407 already all that is left is submission
Grrr the stupid ArcGis is really driving me crazy... super duper e freaking kan pua time consuming... took all my afternoon time after lect... But then again screw u El...
Stop bitching, u reap what u chose to sow.. Shd have planned my 2408 schedule properly and not procrastinate and leave it till the last min.

Alrite time to sleep now!!!!

Don't Rush Don't Rush

Recently El gave in to his desire and bought the Samsung E900 at a low price...
The phone is indeed cool and sleak.. but it only made me realise how much better Sony Ericsson is in terms of the functions and interface...
Samsung indeed lives up to its repute of just having looks

In the end... i sold the E900 at the price i bought it for after a mere 3 days lol
Sold my K750i as well and changed over to a W800i...
Lol.. El is addicted to Sony Ericsson~

Watched Deathnote with Jolene last weekend...
Wow the show rox... really love it
the way L reasons his way out to try to track down Kira is great~
El is definitely not going to miss out on the sequel that is to be released in December
More Shinigamis... More deathnotes... and the farnie looking L with weird behaviors keke

I think i must never get Jolene the Deathnote prototype available at Cineleisure
I dare bet this is how the first entry looks like:
Elvin Tan Yuan Xiang
died after suffering excessive pinching, poking, punching and pincing...

Gosh... i am dead convinced that will be wat she is gonna do to test the book~ Lol

Sat for a quiz for CE2155 today
Gosh... felt quite shitty as i couldnt do the last qn...
The quiz comprise 3 qns...
the first 2 qns are those that almost everyone scores and do well
its just the last qn that is a killer and distinguish who are the A scorers and who do badly...
Grrrr i scribbled some nonsense down despite i really cant come up with any idea at all

Fortunately... i did quite well for the other two tests i took
2184 i got wat i wanted... a 100% which 30% of the cohort got as well so its really no big deal
2134 managed to pass well... but still didnt meet my expectation of 80%
That means goodbye to my Fossil watch for my bday GRRRRRRRR just 5% to my target
Sobz sobz... But shd be happy since its considered a very gd score already

Wonder wat to do tml~ Really don't feel like going out to squeeze with other idiots out there
But it would be kinda boring rotting at home and i dont think jolene would like that
perhaps i can go shopping with her since she have somethings she wanna buy...
Alrite Suntec it shall be~ if time allows den Sinking of Japan shall be watched tml as well keke

Time for El to practice his guitar~
Shoo~

I'm Addicted

Damn it...
didnt know that guitar is more addictive than cigarettes ~
Hooked to it totally...
Gotta spend at least one or two hours playing it...
Grr.. really shd have been doing tutorials instead haiz
but well... its not that bad i guess, after all its a gd form of relaxation
could have been better if it burns calories off the fat fat El just like a gd running does
These days, i would rather play the guitar than to push my big fat lazy ass off for a run
Enuff... i know it, i m growing fat, but well... just too lazy
Hiakz Hiakz

Grr saw this cao ah beng using the E900 today...
Wonder why but the fone seems to look so freaking ugly when he is using it
But well, i still think its one of the nicest fone that appear in the recent years...
so much nicer than those unsightly disfigured toys that Nokia came up with
Kaoz... i really wonder if Nokia pays their designers...
Its obvious that no effort was put in...
Come on, i know u can do better than try to con consumers with disgusting gadgets unworthy of its value...
To pull it off by claiming Nokia is user friendly isnt even going to work~
At least not on El
Functions aint any level comparable to SE
Lets not even bother mentioning looks which sets me nauseous~
Sorry 4 the crap... in short, FUGG Nokia fones

Pr's prob with his gf is finally over... Kaoz...
The timespan of tension and coldwar is surprisingly short
totally stunned me and hamtaro as we were talking abt it in Arts Canteen that day
he predicted 3weeks
while i went for 2weeks
Damn it... guess how long it took? barely 3days~
But its a gd thing...
Seems like we still cannot be off guard u 3 fellas
u pple noe who u r~
we still gotta save some $$$$ just in case Mr and Miss Pr suddenly plant bomb(Ang Sek ehh)
or suay suay Xiao Pang come out we also Kee Chia man
Dont forget the latter more hiong, must give 2 X Ang Bao
Satu for marriage
Satu for red eggs
Add tgt become dua liaoz~

Grr... wonder why am i so kp today
is it becox i just cant get e damn song rite on my guitar
or is it becox i am so thats why i cant play the damn song rite
hurhur... No idea seriously

Now that i m done with my guitaring plus crapping
I guess its time for work!!! Off I go

Self Esteem Test Koped From Guang's Site

You Have Low Self Esteem 24% of the Time

Generally, you feel pretty darn great about who you are, even when you mess up or fail. Occasionally, a huge setback will make you question yourself, but you pick yourself up quickly.

How is Your Self Esteem?

Kaoz Seems Like I am very The Darn Egoistic SIA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But quite true... Guess i really love myself haha

Hydraulics

Went out on a shopping spree with jolene yesterday...
Bought a new pair of berms and my desired beetle bug sandals keke

Btw... WTC is a nice show... can go watch it people~
but i will just remind u that there is a few cockanathan scenes inside~
Yupz, for those who watched it already, its scenes where Will saw Jesus.
I mean no offence or insult to Jesus or the faith... But just find that the scenes are kinda a spoiler to the whole show... the kind that just sets the whole cinema bursting in laughter~
Other than that, everything else is nice~

Really looking forward to the release of Death Note the movie,
Gonna go watch it with my dear... From the trailer it looks nice~

Haiz~ El's got a quiz on Hydraulics tml, but till now he hasnt study for it.
Damn... wonder why i just cant get into the mood...
Gonna do a short meditation to kick every damn thing outta my mind and embark on my revision proper...

Heyz Guang... Saw your post... are thou into meditation as well?
haaz maybe next time can share some tips man~
Its gd isnt it~ haha

Oh yea.. supposed to meet yoyo to buy his flip flops today...
grr but he hasnt called me yet.
Its fine i guess... aint in a hurry for that.
But i think he shd revamp his dress sense soon...
He needs to kick the image of a China Man~

Heez exactly one more month to my bday Hiakz Hiakz~
Gonna work hard later...
If not, den i wont be able to buy my fossil watch for myself as a reward
80% for the Hydraulics Quiz it shall be...
Any lesser, NO FOSSIL WATCH FOR EL's BIRTHDAY~~

Time for Meditation~ Follwed by...
Study time

Elvin the REd nose Idiot~

El is down
El hates the haze...
Weiguang just told me the freaking PSI hit 128.
Now praying for a gale that is so powerful that it blows everything back towards indonesia
if not blow to malaysia also can haha..

El is having irritated throat, super irritated nose plus super duper itchy eyes
GRRRR seems like the plan to go to zoo today is off
I doubt ah meng and friends will be actively welcoming us in such hazy condition
they are probably still wondering why they had shifted house lol

Think El shall just go catch a movie and shop in town today
stay indoor as much as possible grrrr

Alrite the target for the day would be a pair of ripcurl slippers and a pair of beetle bug sandals muahahahaha i can hear the painful pleas from my wallet begging me not to let it bleed..
But well... Shopping time~
I am gonna just spend a little on these two things that i need
which will kinda reduce my spending power so i wont go dream of e cheap e900 lobang that i found. That would deplete my allowance for the month completely.. HurHur so i think buy sandals better keke

Time to go buy eye drops...
F the damn haze

Freaking Farnie Youtube

This is one of the farnies Youtube Videos i ever watch sia~ got time go check it out pple. Muahaha
nearly fell onto the floor when i watch... Just try not to even luff when u watch muahahahahahah
Ultimate Youtube Video!!!

School Again

The week is almost over now...
Term has started, slacker mode vanished into thin air
finally getting all the drive back in me to do my work
Perhaps just a lil lag in CE 2407 thats all but well...
I will get it over and done with by this weekend.

Mooncake fest again....
El got his mooncake from YoYo~ haha
was sceptical at first but well the mooncakes quality was quite good
Now i am scratching my head wat kinda pattern to Chuk for friday,
my queen wants me to go pei her haiz...
cant seem to think of anything other than those virtual work and castigliano theorem shit now

Lol~ Its a miracle...
i finally seem to be absorbing well
Structural Analysis seems to be quite clear and i am loving it
when u do things right, u just feel better

El is getting so darn super pissed with his MOL
Starfuk's service is really f up and El is wondering if he shd just jump over to Stinknet
perhaps it would be better to dc once in a while but u enjoy better connection to overseas servers.
Saw the SamSung E900 in StinktelShop...
Wah biangz ehhh si bei chio, just the type i like
v long never see a fone that design attracts me le...
so far all phones i buy for functions at compromise of looks
But E900 prob got both functions and looks that i need
Found this darn lobang on auctions yest for 400, wondering if i shd buy
Shd El just succumb to his desire and cast his savings plans aside...
haiz gotta be disciplined... if not end of the year how to go holiday sia

Got this unexpected news from my best fwen today...
%^&*@#$ thats the last thing i ever tot i would be hearing grrr
Just as shocking as Bush would be if he sees Osama in his bedroom.
But well Bro... I noe u zai one~ Ai zai larz... Things will work out

El's Shopping List for Da Week:
- BeetleBug Sandals
- Plain topman Jerseys
- Stussy Berms (TBC)

Alrite... gotta go back to virtual working and castigliano-ing now

Joke of the day:
During a structural analysis lecture El had on 2th Oct 2006, the lecturer was going through Castigliano Thereom which drove half the LT to bedland... He then happily went through the past year papers... When he suddenly became very serious, he looked just like how LKY looked like before he broke down and cried for Singapoor... And he just said one thing...
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
~
Your Greatest Enemy is YOURSELF!!!!

I know u r uttering WTF...

Tired~

Haiz Haiz Haiz...
Getting a little tired today....

But glad am i to see my lagginess in studies reducing to almost zero...
CE2407 major catchup revision on Friday and i would be almost done.
Currently El is looking forward to taking a short breather during the mid term break as most of my assignments are already done less those thats recently given this week.

Brought my cousin and his thai friend around NUS after they are done with looking up a friend of theirs....
Stayed till ard 6 plus before having dinner with YoYo...
Bad it seems i would say for him. Reason being that Yoyo's Latency for studies seems to be growing exponentially... Immediately i tot of the nonsense i was up to during sem 1 and sem 2 haha~

Well El had started this sem well and things are still going gd for him...
Missing out on lessons once only becox I really overslept as i tried to revise till wee... Kinda asking for it myself haha

I really like this feeling, this drive in me... Keep pushing me ahead will ya???
Managed to kick off the darn D pills.... No longer need them anymore with my own Drive and Desire... These 2 D's are more potent than the DeP*e*si*n

Perhaps its becox i m reduced to relying on no one but myself...
I am getting more serious... But alarm just sounded off haha
My dEar Darling GF Jolene is complaining that i am more in love with my books than her
Kaoz... trust her to be jealous over books~
But perhaps i did went a bit overboard...
(i literally eat sleep study only... Didnt even SMS her once)

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!
Haaz Sorry larz Dear!!!!!!!
REALLY SORRY MY DEAR JOLENE!!!!!
liddat can le ba? If u happen to read this blog den hope ya jealousy ease a lil
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

met guang at forum today
He seems busy with his Rovers...
This time last year we were still practicing LECTURE BREAK tgt haha
but now we separated liaoz haaz...
Oei Guang:
paiseh long time never update my blog and even my flooble also kena delete hiakz hiakz
but aizai i got it up liaoz haha
Kaoz... Ya blog v nicely done up wor
U really put in effort sia... Compared to my lork kork one
WARNING: DONT 'CLIQUE' TOO MUCH DUDE
u noe wat i mean Hiakz Hiakz...
got gd news better inform me if not i kill u
but actually bad news also can share w me larz...

K the evil monstrous pillow calling me now...
The sinister bed is luring me into her arms...
Darn El is succumbing to them again...

Inner Child

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child. Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded. You cherish all of the details in life. Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

This is supposed to be an indication of my inner child muahaha... Not v accurate i would say. Gd Try though.

Emptiness~

4mths Exactly...
Since i last wrote anything here...

Not too sure why i m blogging again now
but perhaps i really needed somewhere to write down my emotions and thoughts
and also... to ward off that emptiness...

It was around this time last year when i began my Uni life.
He was still around.............
I still remember the day, e first day of school when he told me this
"I held u when u first came to this world,
and you came as my 56th years old Bday present.
From a toddler till now, i could still remember the day when u first schooled
and now u are on your way for your varsity already.
How i have aged... But perhaps the only dream i still have
would be attending your graduation ceremony with proud pride"

Now as El is writing this down with a wrenched heart
he is no longer around despite his wish aint fulfilled.

20th May 2002 when she left me,
I cried my heart out...
Perhaps till now, i have yet to overcome the impact her absence brought to me
but now... there is another pain for me to deal with
From that day on, my life changed...
The warm family life that i used to take for granted some how vanished in a second
Despite so... there was still him around whom i can still talk to and cherish

When my confinements ended in NDU as well as OCS...
Alone he would travel to vist me...
I would always see him with his pack of stuff that he would bring along for me
an elderly figure who would never fail to travel the distance just to visit me
Despite his age, despite his ailments, despite the distance....
He was always there...

At times when i was tired...
He would still be around to talk to me each day i reach home
Since fateful day 23th June 2006
I lost him forever...

He is gone, i have grown to accept the fact.
But however, his familiar figure, e scent of his cigarettes, his occasional naggings of concern
lingers on in my mind strongly

El realised that he is terrified of emptiness that surrounds him everynight.
Whenever i am all alone and nothing occupies my time and mind
this bug runs in me...
Just when i am in this house where they used to stay in with me
tots just keep flashing
I feel horrible...
I feel just as if i am now all alone in this world now...

I am afraid of being at home....
All the more of being home alone all quiet around me
That would be the reason why i keep getting myself occupied these days
be it playing the guitar, watching youtube, or doing all the housechores
i just didnt wanna be left alone to be reminded of this emptiness

El always tot he was strong...
but perhaps it really isnt the case
He is terribly weak when it comes to emotions
and getting over such pain...

How long is it going to take?
This house is cold as beer...
I do not feel any family warmth anymore

Just as i m starting a new term tml....
Mixed feelings brew in my heart...
I wanna just go to bed but somehow i couldnt

A long day tml,
school followed by tuition
and back i am to this cold house all alone.

What can i do to ward off this feeling?

And how much medication of TIME will i need to recover?
God enlighten me pls...

Yet Another ONe & another 1 & another one

Wat am i to do??
I dont like it

A gal who si ai mian zi
A gal who refuses to apologise

Reason being....................
J, " i dont like to say sorry"

Well if u are wrong u are supposed to say it isnt it??
wats with u like it or not

I dont like sch... but i am going becox i am supposed to

She is like damn duhz..............

How is El supposed to deal with such a gal???

Fine if u dont wanna apologise
Wont u even admit that u are in the wrong??
Still talking all right and justified~
Wats with that~~~
I dont like that attitude
However, she says that she didnt mean that
if i wanna feel this way she cant do a thing

GRRRRRRRRRRR
dont blame pple for getting the wrong impression
u have a part for giving that impression
Check the way u speak as well as your tone

Do u even sound apologetic abt your fault??

All i feel is............. i dunno how to deal with such a wilful gal

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Fuck it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thoughts?

Its been such a long while since i really type a thing here. My closest diary is thou shall not worry abt your existence... U r rmbed by El~

No sch work
No games
No troubles

El is set to just have break
Tonite El tot of lots of stuff

Wats happiness in life??
Money?? All the freaking C's u can possibly dream of owning??
A pretty gf?? Success in work??
Fame?? Glory??

Humans are unique we come to this piece of land the very same way
and we leave it the very same way
Perhaps thats abt all to wat all humans have in common ba

However, we think very differently, fight for distinct different things
Have u ever tried to do wat i have done,
Sit down properly and ask yourself this very qn??
I realised i am lost
i do not really know wat i want
It took El quite a while before i actually sorted out my priorities

El's dumb EQN,
Family + Friends + Love = Happiness

I have happily excluded money
I am not a saint i need it as well BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its perhaps one of the worse invention mankind ever came up w ba?
Its absence brings great discomfort
Its presence doesnt really make El much happier...

Losing Her in 210502 was perhaps the most painful thing that happened in El's life
Till today i cry, till today i feel the pain n regret over wat i failed to do...
Well its not gonna help.
I just have to bear with those listed above and treasure the all those ard...
1 regret in life is bad enuff since its not erasable
I dont need anymore additions

As for friends... Its subjective
Everyone needs diff kinda friends, commit diff into friendship as well
For El, the 4 years in St Gabs was by far the best thing that can happen ba
These years saw him acquainting the truest closest friends he ever needed
No one noes wat is gonna happen tml...
We may become enemies, lose contact or perhaps just stay the same
Its going to be 10yrs next year...
How many 10years can a person have on earth assuming he lives to 60?
Its been happy these 1oyrs, fair share of joy and tiny whiny bit of unhappiness
Thanks Bros~
but wat doesnt kill it strengthens it, perhaps thats why our ties is going strong

As for the love part,
Its really luck and your lobang with cupid
If u r lucky u get one~
I have one now and i just wanna cherish her
Been thru quite a bit to have a fair chance to see wat a person she has changed to
She is indeed just who i want and who i need
Just someone i can love and loves me
Wat more can i possibly ask for?? 1650 is the target

Seriously... For El
All that he wants for happiness is there,
The funny potluck that brings him joy.
Its actually nice to reflect on your life
as it really makes u feel how fortunate u are
Well, we often see funny qns in those spam chain emails
asking if u know u r going to die tml wat would u do today?
If u leave this world, do u think u r a happy man? etc etc...
For me i just realised one thing... after thinking thru...
No one is gonna come to your wake paying the last respect to u
rmbing the amount of money u accumulated while u breathed.... (thats why money is excluded)
If u had done pple wrong, the person wont be at your wake in the 1st place lol
Just sthg to ponder abt...
Wouldnt it be nice if at least one person were to come to your wake rmb-ing just one nice thing u have ever done that brought him fond memories?
To El, that means that a walk on this earth isnt wasted already~

Well, maybe whoever reads this may be finding me very morbid or pessimistic
But the truth is contrary...
I am viewing life in another way that perhaps pple wouldnt normally do??
And i am indeed happy to realised how fortunate i am
A occasional break like this is essential for me ba
Too many things have cropped up lately,
muddling my head, blinding me, draining me of my energy
I wanna be tired no more,
Onwards i will move...

Life journey is a displacement quantity
the starting point and end point are fixed
Carve out your happy path ba
since no matter wat,
once u start u gotta end at the same point
Too curvy burns u out
Too plain sailing is boring as well
Find your own equilibrium~ =)

Just wondering?

Twice a mth
So thats 24 per year
So if u get to see your gf for only 24 times per year
and each time u meet its between 1/3 to 1/2 a day,

so the number of days u meet per year is ranging from 8 - 12

Is the amt of time enuff to maintain a relationship???
U may joke abt it, the time is so little,
Not even enuff to quarrel
Lol~
El dunno the answer.....

Maybe he just need someone who can spend more time than this
But she says its her constraint, i dont like it but its kinda true also

Just keep the fingers crossed,
Hope the feelings dont fade
Somehow i feel it will.....
But its pretty simple, since she is constrained i cant do nuts
lets just see how it goes
if no feelings, just suak lorz~
Hanker on for wat....

Lol~
El and his watever
El and his simply cant be bothered

I dont Understand

J is irritating
J is troublesome
J makes me flare

Why???
She uses double negative
She uses passive voices all the time
She is madly in love with her ambiguity sentence structure

Is her command of English lousy?
I dunno~
I dont care
I dont like the above mentioned elements

Rather that saying, I didnt say i am free
A better thing to say would be I am BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Black Grey White
If jolene must choose a color among the 3
if she likes white
She will say i dont like black
and if i chooses grey, she will come tell me she didnt say she liked grey either
Cant she freaking just say i like white???
Simple thing like this
El hates it~ so damn freaking the senseless to me

Worse of all,
she doesnt even rmb wat she says or wat she typed
Fine~ Fair enuff that its words of anger when we quarrel
But when she is not flaring up yet,
She is too ambiguous
I dont understand wat she means

STRAIGHT & Simple IN MY FACE JOLENE
Can u pls say things that way???

Are we on the wrong frequency? Maybe
People ard don't tell u that?
I think my English is too good???
I cant say watever now~ u dont like it isnt it?

Isnt too much to ask for isnt it???
well well well
El is weird
damn~
Like it take it, if not leave it~