Waiting~

I didnt know what went wrong with me. Somehow i couldnt purge my mind of the tots of her. Sitting back in my couch, i began writting down my thoughts and how i really felt onto a letter that i would pass to her. Below her flat i ended at, with the letter in my hand. I was feeling awful, on one hand i crave to see her, on the other i was worried abt what she might say to me. After handing the letter to her, i took a short walk to the bench we would always go to. Perhaps the place holds much beloved memories for me... Everything feels like yest but its non existent anymore. After a while she offered to come down to acc me. She didnt say much... we spent much of the time staring into the sky with heads on the bench... finally i walked her back just like i always do and saw her up to her flat. When the lift reached, she didnt wanna step out. She requested for a hug but i turned her down. If i m not the one she could love den perhaps i shouldnt be the one she hugs as well. It hurts my heart to say that but perhaps making things clear now would be better than dragging it on...
One thing i didnt tell her was how i was frantically searching for my ring when i woke up today. Normally the first thing i would do is to look for my loved ring. Its a painful stab in the sleepyhead's heart to eventually recall that the ring is no longer with him... She sent a few msgs to me this morn, glad am i to know there isnt much underlying meanings to the words. Maybe wat she really needs is time and wat i really need is not mere take care sorry gd luck all the best for sch... Hahaz i was thinking maybe during the courtship i was spared from the agony of mind games thats why fate is having all these shit in store for me now. sighz.... We are both sure wat i really want. If it is so hard for her to choose me over someone never in the picture who had never and will never do anything for her, is it still all worthwhile for me to hold on? However i still wanna take a gamble, if time is her wish, she may have it... No matter wat, i will be waiting as i know of nuttin more i can do...
I chose to have this written in purple for purple reminds me of her. A long pain day to pass~ Will i eventually manage to get a wink?