A Brand New Year ought to be fun and great but why is it that El is blogging online at this wee hour? Well i guess i really have no other means of speaking or letting out the bottled emotions. Not sure if i can really put it in words, but a summary of my agony now is pain...
When she told me at the beach that all she felt was liking but not love, i felt my heart stabbed. Perhaps its was so far too painful that i even forgot that tears might act as anaesthetic. Reason she gave to substantiate was the existence of the other person in her heart. Its been bugging me for long, why someone could leave her hankering for him when he didnt even do much for her while the one who truly feels and care is suffering in heartache. Den after pondering, for some time i did foolishly thought that to love, i would not have to bother abt all these shit~ So what if another person is in her heart, i would still love her n dote on her. Soon i realised that i m but just a mortal and not a saint. Cut the moral high ground shit i mentioned earlier. I do indeed care abt it, even to the extent of being affected.
Still, i returned the ring with her name engraved back to her. I really see no point in me wearing it, pseudo relationship symbology wats the point???? If she indeed feels that i m the one she is gonna entrust her love, may she put the ring back on my hand for me. I do sincerely hope that this day will come and not too long from now. As for my ring, she may kindly keep it as she is indeed the one i wanna entrust my love to.
After i saw her home, for some unknown reason, i began to stroll along the park in front of her flat. Memories just flush through my mind~ How i wish a call from her would come just this very moment but wishes do not always come true. I really wish to know what she is thinking of, but then is it all worthwhile? Would i be feeling any betteR?
Sighz~ I suppose i would have Insomnia to accompany me through the night with occasionally thoughts of her floating by.......
When she told me at the beach that all she felt was liking but not love, i felt my heart stabbed. Perhaps its was so far too painful that i even forgot that tears might act as anaesthetic. Reason she gave to substantiate was the existence of the other person in her heart. Its been bugging me for long, why someone could leave her hankering for him when he didnt even do much for her while the one who truly feels and care is suffering in heartache. Den after pondering, for some time i did foolishly thought that to love, i would not have to bother abt all these shit~ So what if another person is in her heart, i would still love her n dote on her. Soon i realised that i m but just a mortal and not a saint. Cut the moral high ground shit i mentioned earlier. I do indeed care abt it, even to the extent of being affected.
Still, i returned the ring with her name engraved back to her. I really see no point in me wearing it, pseudo relationship symbology wats the point???? If she indeed feels that i m the one she is gonna entrust her love, may she put the ring back on my hand for me. I do sincerely hope that this day will come and not too long from now. As for my ring, she may kindly keep it as she is indeed the one i wanna entrust my love to.
After i saw her home, for some unknown reason, i began to stroll along the park in front of her flat. Memories just flush through my mind~ How i wish a call from her would come just this very moment but wishes do not always come true. I really wish to know what she is thinking of, but then is it all worthwhile? Would i be feeling any betteR?
Sighz~ I suppose i would have Insomnia to accompany me through the night with occasionally thoughts of her floating by.......
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